The more I see and hear other people’s stories about living with anxiety, the more I realize that I am not alone. Millions of people around the world are currently struggling with what they believe to be uncontrollable anxiety. Many of them don’t know where to turn for help. I want you to know that you are not alone. Anxiety is not an incurable disease. Understanding anxiety is the first step in healing.
Background – How I discovered my anxiety disorder
One morning while eating breakfast at work I noticed a small, uncomfortable feeling start to creep in and take control of me from the inside. This feeling was fear. Fear of what I’ll probably never know. After a quick walk outside and a series of deep breaths, I felt back to normal. Little did I know that this day was just the beginning of what would become a monster of fear that engulfed me completely over the course of a few years. Unbeknownst to me, I was feeding this dormant monster to the point of uncontrollable anxiety. The more I fed it, the stronger it would become.
Google Was Not My Friend
I spent the next few days Googling my symptoms in a desperate attempt to figure out what was going on with me. Instead of finding comfort in my online search results, Google seemed to blow things entirely out of proportion. My Google searches, coupled with my anxiety, made it seem that I had an incurable illness. Each day I would find something new that was wrong with me. This only served to intensify my bad feelings and dig myself deeper into a hole of anxiety with each search.
My Initial Worries
In my quest to feel better I visited several doctors but I had this arbitrary timeline in my head that told me I had to reach my goal by a certain date. Each time I crossed this timeline without the desired results, I would get this sinking feeling that I had an uncontrollable terminal illness.
I began to worry about my future, my job, and my family. I couldn’t get a grip on reality no matter how hard I tried. At one point I even imagined having to say goodbye to my friends because I had very little understanding as to how anxiety works. Honestly, I was afraid of finding out.
Habit-Forming Actions
The first step in understanding your anxiety is to be aware that your actions can either benefit you or harm you. The following actions need to be limited for the sake of your wellbeing. I will also cover these in more detail in future blogs.
1. Googling – Googling has its pros and cons. Used appropriately, it can help you educate yourself. Used incorrectly, it can increase your anxiety by causing your thoughts to spiral out of control.
2. Overthinking – Overthinking creates a vicious cycle where you become addicted to letting your mind wander to worst-case scenarios. Overcoming it is a huge step towards mental wellness.
3. Negative Assumptions – I felt safer assuming the worst possible outcome would happen to me. My rationale was that it couldn’t get worse since I was mentally prepared.
4. Self-Pity – I questioned why everything happened to me. Why couldn’t I be as happy as everyone else? I felt a desire to be understood but no one in my family could relate to what I was going through. They would brush it off or sometimes joke about my anxiety.
5. Introversion – As my anxiety increased, I withdrew into my shell. I became unsure of new challenges and declined many social events. Each day followed the same pattern of work and home.
Physical Manifestations
My anxiety expressed itself in a host of physical manifestations. I had extreme tension and tightness in my head. My blood pressure increased and only got better after being prescribed anxiety medication. I experienced heart palpitations which caused me to visit the cardiologist. I also had aches and pains that would suddenly appear the day after thinking about having them. Extreme fatigue and stomach issues soon became my daily norm.
Perhaps the most annoying feeling I experienced was the constant vibrations I felt pulsing through my body. It was like a light wave of electricity that would not turn off. Panic attacks became frequent and increasingly worse as time passed. I will go into further detail about what they feel like and how you can manage them in the future.
Steps I Took to Begin Healing from Anxiety
The biggest challenge with anxiety is understanding how to heal from it. The second biggest challenge is taking that first step. Healing from anxiety is a process and you must not give up.
First, I met with mental health professionals and friends that I knew could help me overcome my anxiety. When I began to experience physical symptoms I would reach out to doctors who could help me understand what I was going through. Unfortunately, some doctors prescribed me medication before I could even finish explaining myself. I also saw specialists who told me there was nothing wrong.
Once I realized that I was dealing with a mental issue, I began to visit psychologists and psychiatrists looking for a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). For some reason, I thought this would make it easier to treat. I even paid a visit to my spiritual mentor and nutritionists for additional support. I was desperate to understand what I was going through.
I read that anxiety could be caused by the depletion of certain vitamins and minerals in the body so I supplemented with magnesium, vitamin D, vitamin B12, and many more. I also started using essential oils after reading about their health benefits. This was a great coping mechanism that allowed me to relax, stay focused, and increase my energy. I even take my oils with me when I travel.
One of the biggest things that helped me was equipping myself with knowledge about anxiety. Without a proper understanding, you might make it worse. Reading about anxiety from a reputable source will equip you with the tools you need to fight it.
With small steps and a lot of willpower, you too can conquer your anxiety. I will be providing many articles in the future that will simplify this process and help you understand anxiety better. Taking control over your anxiety is achievable and I will be with you every step of the way.
Key takeaways from my anxiety story
1. The road to recovery is a journey – As I said earlier, never give your anxiety journey a timeline. It’s a thought you need to free yourself from. If it takes a little longer than expected, that’s fine. Not everyone is the same and doesn’t have the same recovery timelines. You must give yourself time to heal without rushing the process.
2. The solution is holistic – I’ve heard several people try to say that anxiety is cured by this or that. What works for one person doesn’t work for everyone. Discover what works for you or a combination of things that work for you. Only you know yourself best. No one can tell you otherwise.
3. Anxiety can be overcome – I’ve seen articles that have stated anxiety cannot be overcome and can only be managed. This very statement gives rise to further anxiety because it’s not true. Anxiety CAN be overcome and you can live the life you’ve always wanted to live. It’s not the end of the road. Reassure yourself with this affirmation every single day.
4. You can get back to being your happy old self – You can still enjoy your life like you used to. Those days of living life without a care in the world can and will return with proper guidance. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t let another person’s failure determine your outcome.
5. Understanding anxiety is your best weapon – Armies win wars when they have a good understanding of their enemy. Anxiety is no exception. When you understand how and when anxiety strikes, you are better equipped to stop it in its tracks.
What You Can Expect from Future Blogs
My next series of articles will focus on detailing several touchpoints that people suffering from anxiety typically go through. I will equip you with simple, easy-to-understand information that is effective in helping you manage and eventually overcome anxiety more efficiently. Remember that I am rooting for your success. I believe in you and in your ability to overcome this anxiety